The Spiraling Effect

If I had a nickel for every time I felt guilty about not doing something, I would be a rich woman.

If I spent have as much time actually doing the things that I spend way too much time thinking about doing, I would be far more productive and have more time on my hands.

If I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to accomplish everything I think I should be doing, I would have a lot less stress in my life and feel a greater sense of accomplishment.

If I had a lot less stress in my life, I would be virtually free from captivity of stress related ailments and admittedly, the occasional spell of out of body bad behavior.
Stress starts the chain reaction but even more so, it begets a vicious cycle. . .a spiraling effect.  What should be infrequent becomes every day. What should be forbid becomes tolerated. What should be addressed becomes overlooked. We are hardly to blame but we have no one to blame but ourselves . . . a vicious cycle, indeed! Here are three tell tale signs that the cycle is spiraling into your life.

Restless Sleep: Stress can get into sleep cycles which results in the feeling of not having slept at all. Whether it is insomnia, a restless night of tossing and turning or deep dreams that zap the very energy meant to be replenished, stress will wreak havoc on your ability to get a good night sleep. In addition, teeth grinding, night sweats and snoring are all danger signs that stress is making the body work overtime with no regard to the sleep patterns, especially uninterrupted REM sleep, that are critical to maintaining good health.

Fighting Fatigue: Fatigue and stress are a bad combination. Stress causes fatigue and being tired all of the time escalates the level of stress on any given situation. The more exhausted a person is, the more sleep is needed, yet chronic stress is more likely to result in sleep deprivation. Fatigue affects productivity, the ability to think clearly and to the deftness to act quickly. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation can actually effect drivers in the same manner as being intoxicated.

Tension Headache: Tension headaches happen when the muscle and skeleton around the neck and scalp tighten. They are the most common result of stress and can last hours or days depending on the person. As part of the vicious cycle, tension headaches are often caused by and greatly exacerbated by fatigue. The more tired and stressed you are, the more likely they are to occur and to last. They are rarely debilitating but can temporarily effect fine motor skills, productivity and overall mood, which nonetheless, can feel debilitating!

All of this and more can change but it will take you to break the cycle and end the spiraling effect. As promised, the next several posts will point out more of the tell tale signs that signal the need to reclaim a consistently healthy and treasured quality of life. As for now, if you take just one stressor off your emotional plate, you will begin to see a change. So, RELAX. and think about something that you can stress less about. SET. your mind to making that commitment. And GO. enjoy a full but more manageable plate. I am not going to feel guilty about moving items from today’s To Do list onto tomorrow’s. If it’s not a hard deadline, then I’m going to allow myself the flexibility. What will you allow yourself today? RELAX. SET. GO.

Question Stress

Almost everything we do, emotional and physical, is affected by stress. To be fair, it’s true that not all stress is bad. Stress that brings about short term, manageable pressure can motivate action, stimulate creativity and set off an adrenaline rush that will make anyone feel great. However, what goes up must come down so as the adrenaline spike balances out, so will that rush of empowerment. As discussed in the last post (Chain Reaction), it’s how and when adrenal levels come down that make all the difference in how much stress a person can manage. And that can make all the difference in the wear and tear on both emotional and physical health.

Everyone has a barometer for stress and how they deal with it. Some people wear it like a badge of honor, ready to conquer and control. Others relinquish every emotion to stress and become totally consumed by it. Some people try to escape the obvious by ignoring stress completely and others see stressors as problems to be solved like items on a To Do list. Regardless of how you or anyone else deals with stress, in order to manage it, you have to recognize it and question it.

How does it affect the way you physically feel?
How does it affect your state of mind?
How does it affect your productivity?
How does it affect your behavior?
How long does it take to rebound from the affects of stress?

What is stress doing to you or more importantly, what is stress robbing from you? Quality of life? Time? Perspective? Clarity? Memory? Sleep? Energy? Optimism? Your health? All of the above . . . and likely even more? RELAX. Take some time and really think about all of this. SET. The narrative you choose will have everything to do with the way you manage stress. GO. How you deal with stress from this day on is up to you!

Over the next several posts, I will discuss common symptoms that are caused by stress including: tension headaches, fatigue, restless sleep, tension talk, public display of drama, mini meltdowns, mini breakdowns, inability to focus and memory loss.  More to come . . . less to stress.

Chain Reaction

Every body reacts to stress. And while each of us may be on a sliding scale of potential risk, every body is vulnerable nonetheless. When a stress occurs, the brain releases hormones and neurotransmitters (including adrenaline) that set off a biochemical chain reaction to stimulate and suppress different biological functions throughout the entire body. This chain reaction can send a signal to suppress activity related to short term memory such as the ability to focus and think rationally. It can also increase heart rate, blood pressure and put tremendous pressure on blood flow. Blood flow interacts with and affects every system in the body including the cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, reproductive, musculoskeletal and immune system. If some systems require more blood flow during the stress response, others temporarily slow down or shut down. Finally, when the stress calms down, so does the body. Hormones and neurotransmitters return to their normal levels and internal balance is restored. Or is it?

The body is engineered to handle the biochemical back-and-forth shift of short term stress but when stress is chronic, or erratic in intensity, it doesn’t always rebound in the same orderly manner. This is when we are most vulnerable to health risks and, over time, to irreversible organ damage. In order to maintain good health, the body needs the proper time to stabilize and, most importantly, it needs to complete the stabilization process. Chronic stress can keep the body in an abnormal state of hormonal activity. Erratic stress will send the body on a biochemical rollercoaster. Either way, the prolonged strain will result in greater wear and tear on emotional, mental and physical health. Rest assured, wear and tear will wear you down and tear you apart.

The goal is to manage stress, not to eliminate it or to succumb to it. Once you acknowledge the biochemical chain reaction caused by stress, you can use RELAX. SET. GO. to help minimize strain and restore balance. Manage . . . Minimize . . . More to come . . .

Erosion

Pick up the paper, go online or turn on the news and there is some discussion about how to alleviate stress. Over and over, people are told to work out, take a long walk, leave the office or go out with friends. I grin at the irony that, in offering these sound solutions, they miss the obvious. Yes, the point is to break the pattern and change the focus. But breaking the pattern shouldn’t have to be about making time that you don‘t have. It should be about making use of the time you do have . . . and that is what RELAX. SET. GO. is all about. For people under stress, having the time is everything and they never have it. Even when they know it will help, they feel pressured to make time at the cost of something else, something more urgent, something more important. That in itself causes stress. For people who practice RELAX. SET. GO., having the time is irrelevant because it’s always available and it never comes at a sacrifice.

Stress can be defined as anything that causes emotional, mental or physical strain. That covers a lot of ground: money, work, deadlines, family issues, fatigue, scheduling, the expected, the unexpected, and all of the juggling, juggling, juggling in between. Even good stuff like getting a promotion, getting married or having a baby can cause stress. There are so many day to day contributing factors that people tend to see stress as a part of life and not life threatening. But it is.

Health experts maintain that the majority of all diseases and disorders in the United States are stress related. Think about this: if a person is in overdrive due to stress, so is the body. Stress can contribute to a host of menacing health issues including high blood pressure, hypertension, heart arrhythmia, addiction, depression, anxiety, insomnia, exhaustion, memory loss, mood swings, muscle aches, headaches, hair loss, eating disorders, irritable bowel, constipation, ulcers, adult acne, infertility, impotence and lack of sexual desire.

Most people recognize the emotional pitfalls of stress (which is why so many people medicate for depression and anxiety) but few make the same connection to overall health. In fact, society conditions us to overlook, ignore or tolerate the connection. That’s what makes stress so insidious and the consequences so great. To me, it’s just like beach erosion. You don’t see the day to day destruction until you wake up one morning and the ocean is hitting your back porch. The damage from stress is there, even if you don’t see it right away. RELAX. SET. GO. gets you see to it, manage it and reap the benefit of a balanced life and better health. More to come . . . Less to stress.

Let the Stress(less) Series Begin!

Bill Clinton, who recently underwent his second heart surgery, realized something was seriously off when he watched himself on TV. "I saw an interview I did with 'Nightline' in Haiti which terrified me," he said, "I looked like I was 185 years old. My color was bad." In addition to a lifetime of bad eating habits, Clinton attributed his condition to poor stress management including a severe lack of sleep.

On the other end of the spectrum is Gertrude Matthews, a 101 year old piano player who I am fortunate to know personally. She is truly amazing so I was thrilled to learn that ABC World News Tonight was doing a profile on her. In the segment, which just aired last night, you will see that doctors believe her music and connection to her listeners has kept her mind and heart in perfect health all these years. Dr. Thomas Perls, who has studied thousands of people over 100 says that Gertrude and so many like her are better at managing stress, are more outgoing and always optimistic, even about aging. Sounds a lot like a RELAX. SET. GO. mindset. He calls Gertrude an “Escaper” because she doesn’t internalize things that are stressful and has totally escaped age related diseases. I can attest that Gertrude is physically fit, active, sharp as a tack and has a better memory than I do. She also has a better wardrobe than anyone I know!

There is so much incredible information about the health related risks created by stress and equally, so much new information about the link between longevity (including memory) and brain fitness (also called brain plasticity). The RSG sidebar post, remember: chill, says that more lasting memories are likely to form when a person is relaxed . . . or in other words, not stressed. I’m excited to start this series of weekly posts and to demonstrate how RELAX. SET. GO. helps to promote all of the things that promote a healthy outlook and good health.

Gertrude Matthews, ABC World News Tonight: http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/music-101-year-woman-healthy-10441060

Signs

It feels like it’s been forever since my last post. Life has been a whirlwind dance of late and I am fighting the urge to beat myself up over my unintentional hiatus which started with my site being down for a week and ended in a protracted stint of managing a lot of time busting minutiae (like spending hours on the phone with tech services).

I had intended on starting my posting series on stress but something else has been tugging at me.

RELAX. SET. GO. opens doors because it opens you up to all things possible. It allows you to see the signs and to follow the green lights. In the past, I was so closed up that I walked blindly by open doors and was a master at ignoring signs; good, bad or indifferent. Now, I can’t help but grab hold of them and wonder what they mean, especially the signs I’ve been getting since my first RSG post in late November 2009. Incredible.

While deeply spiritual, I’ve been careful not to impart my faith based values into my RSG posts. I believe that faith is personal and respect all religions. So, I find it ironic that many of the comments I get from readers are about spirituality, and brace yourself . . . about God and the Bible.  Signs.

As an adult, I have never read or owned a Bible but I strike up a random conversation with a beautiful woman named Betty and two weeks later she sends me a Bible in the mail. Another sign. . . .

A random facebook connection turns into a discussion about God and the spiritual link to certain RSG values. RSG reconnects me with someone after nearly 30 years and I am awed by his transformation from crazy college kid to insightful theologian. More signs. . .

Within a 3 month period, I attend two funerals for people too young to die and am inspired by each family‘s unwavering faith. I go to Florida and sit next to a woman who starts talking about a man who spoke to Jesus while he was clinically dead for 3 days. On the same trip, I meet with a contractor and learn that not only is he from my home town on Long Island (how random is that?!), but that a religious healer literally saved his life after he received last rights. Signs . . .

I get home and open a video attachment that is about breaking subconscious barriers by thanking the Divine and asking for forgiveness. I get a (once in a blue moon) massage and find out that the masseuse is also studying the balance of energy and the healing powers of Reiki. I remember that my brother is alive because of the power of prayer (after 20 years there is still no medical explanation for his deathbed recovery). For several days in a row, I look at the clock and it is 9:11, an otherwise irregular sign from Brad who died in the south tower. A friend tells me about several freaky coincidences she experienced recently and I am reminded that nothing is by coincidence . . . including signs.

I believe in God and I know someone who truly needs a miracle so I follow the green lights and call the contractor’s healer in Florida. He confirms everything I believe regarding possibilities and I am inspired to pray for a miracle; not in desperation but in the strength. I think of the strength I gain from living in the RSG positive and know that combined with my faith in God it is even more powerful. I will not let the negative seep in and make me feel the fool for believing. Nonetheless, I play the skeptic until I open the mail later that same night. Amid bills and catalogs is an unexpected note from beautiful Betty about hope, new beginnings and prayer. I cannot deny the signs and I am grateful that I can see them. I’m ready for a miracle and I believe it can happen. RELAX. SET. GO.

Life is a Metaphor

While not a new idea, life as a metaphor is still a strong one . . . if you choose it to be. It may be cliché but clichés come from truth. So, choose your metaphor and make it your truth. Tony Robbins got me hooked on the concept a few years ago and I love it because, like RELAX. SET. GO., it is the definition of a quick step process that really works.

I never thought of my life as a metaphor or as a series of metaphors until I realized that my personal narrative was in essence driven by a subconscious life metaphor. It was the overarching theme of my mindset. If I could choose my narrative with RSG, then I could also choose my metaphor and live my life as such. So, as I was listening to Tony Robbins talk about the metaphor, I found my own: life is a dance. Like the orange color marker I use to amplify my energy (also compliments of Tony Robbins), I can always count on my metaphor to boost my narrative. In all honesty, when I think of my metaphor, I RELAX immediately because life is a dance makes me feel lucky and light on my feet, regardless of how lousy my lot may be at the time. Add this to my strong positive narrative and I am SET to GO for pretty much anything.

There is no rule that says choose only one, so if you like a little variety, choose a variety of metaphors . . . to use at will and which will always propel you to go for great!