A Note About My Education

I like to say I'm a work in progress . . . always looking to gain and grow from life experience.   I used to let life's challenges get in my way and too often, get me down.   Now, I can say that I pretty much feel lucky all the time and consider myself a successfully reformed life struggler.  I always strive to focus on the positive and to break any pattern that will sabotage the ideal possibilities. 

RELAX.  SET.  GO. is my daily mantra and the great thing is that I can use it for just about anything; even to reflect on lessons I've learned during my ongoing education.  Here are five that I was thinking about yesterday:

1)  The need for honest self reflection

     (you can’t change what you don’t recognize)

2)  Everyone has a right to empowerment
     (no one has the right to tell you how far you can or cannot reach)

3)  Human nature is consistent
     (we are all much more alike than we are different)

4)  Changing your life in order to reshape your mindset is hard to do
     (changing your mindsetorder to reshape your life is much easier
      and far more rewarding)

5)  Perspective is reality
     (when you begin to see the world differently, you’ll react differently
     to the world around you)

Have a great weekend . . . still snowing in NYC . . . enjoy!
DAC aka Denise

The Cumulative Effect

The great thing about energy is that it’s fluid. It can run high, low, positive, negative, and even passive. Our energy changes based on the situation at hand, our perspective of it and our physical condition at the time. The cumulative effect is the buildup of emotions and attitudes based on long term repetition that affects our reaction to different circumstances. A negative reaction can occur at different times for different people but it happens pretty much for everyone. When it does happen, it can be responsible for some of the most misunderstood behavior. Many consider it the proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back.

It’s not that a reasonable person is suddenly prone to anger just because someone else does something that irks them (like never closing a drawer), or that the idea of a 12 hour work day makes an otherwise ambitious person want to curl up and stay in bed. It is the cumulative effect of dealing with issues, over and over again and on top of each other, that makes them so stressful or simply intolerable. You may be able to take things one day at a time but the days add up and so does the impact. That’s the cumulative effect. It puts emotional weight on the stressors, and that leaves too little time to nurture the things that really matter.

We’re talking about burn out, here and it hurts because it tends to singe every part of life. Don’t let it happen. Look, the great thing about anything negative is that the opposite end is positive. That end is very much in reach, every day, all of the time.

Even if you don’t think you can change your life or the stressors in it, you can change your mindset. This is exactly what RELAX. SET. GO. is all about . . . and it is life changing. The idea is to create a new level of engagement: tolerance, indifference, gratification, or whatever feels best. This depends on the energy you assign and the behavioral pattern you either follow or decide to break. Identify the cumulative stressors (or irritants) and make a decision about them. Mark each one with a mindset that will help you manage it and change your perspective to one that works for you, not against you. Make that mark (chosen mindset) your trigger for success and think about this: also identify the cumulative positives in your life and give them a little well deserved recognition, too. Just like the negatives that add up to the weight of the world, there are likely as many or more positives that should lighten the load. If you have the choice, and you do, always choose the positive. Because the truth is that the cumulative effect is very likely to become the constant condition and when it does, you want it to be a good one.

Upgrade Doesn’t Always Mean Advantage

Technology is a modern paradox. As it advances, it simplifies. As it simplifies, it complicates. There’s an “app” for everything but that doesn’t always mean it’s a good thing. Tech culture means more options but it also means more layers and that means more time. There are few excuses with technology. You can always be on call and on top of any issue. As the scope of what can be done becomes more and more limitless, so does the expectation of what we can accomplish.

In many ways technology has created a do-it-yourself, everyone can-be-an-expert at almost anything world. Just consider all of the things you can do with digital pictures. You can post them, edit them, rate them, tag them, print them, send them, write on them, put them in a slide show, burn a disc, make a movie, add music and customize virtually any product with them. So why is it that most photos sit in a big hard drive mess?!

It shouldn’t be that way because with technology today, you can meticulously manage your life. There is a chart, graph or file to organize just about anything. No pressure. It’s so easy that it should take no time at all which is exactly what most people have: no time at all. What’s crazy is that we really start to believe that we do have the time to do everything simply because everything is at our fingertips. The chart may be there in an instant but we forget that the time it takes to enter the information can be endless. It’s a cultural distortion that creates unrealistic expectations and undue pressure for everyone. Enter multitasking: the be all way to do it all.

The real truth about multitasking is that it’s a skill that is widely misunderstood. A skilled multitasker can manage more than one task at a time by successfully shifting attention back and forth so adeptly that focus is never compromised by distraction. They can tune in and tune out. Most people, however, split instead of shift. When they tune into one thing, they find it difficult to tune out the distraction of the other. As a result, tasks are disadvantaged and take even more time to complete.

Quantity is not quality so, if you fall in the latter category of multitasker then you need to decide which is more important. Sometimes getting more done without an eye for perfection is the right way to go. Sometimes quality counts and it is in your best interest to give full focus to one thing at a time. The challenge becomes knowing the difference and giving yourself the flexibility to prioritize between the two. Most of us, especially over-achievers, inherently set the bar high and put the expectation on ourselves to produce quantity and quality 100% of the time. When you add this to a high task volume and overlap it with the need for speed, you have a recipe for mental and physical burn out. Everyone needs to RELAX. SET. GO.

Checking In From DAC

I thought it would be a good time to write a personal note; namely to give a brief overview of what makes RELAX. SET. GO. (RSG) stand out in the sea of self help cure-alls and to give an idea of what to expect from the site moving forward.

First, let me throw an elephant into the room. I’m not a doctor, Fortune 500 CEO, accredited motivational guru, Ivy league educator or celebrity of any sort. So, how did I come up with RELAX. SET. GO. and why am I qualified to share it with you? Well, I say that the fact that I’m not a traditional self help arbiter is exactly why RSG is so different and so relevant. It doesn’t come from a text book, a doctor’s couch or a lecturer’s pulpit. It comes from real life experience; from someone who has been there and who understands the difference between what most chronically stressed people know they should do and what they feel in their immediate position that they can do. I know the potential pitfalls of days where being down feels easier than rising up but I also know how great rising up feels in the wake of being down.

I spent many years seeking the key to happiness and learned a lot of valuable lessons along the way. The thing that always stopped my progress was the demand for dramatic change and the heavy load of self help ideology. I would get a rush of enthusiasm as I saw the possibilities but nearly always become discouraged if I wasn’t able to meet every criterion of the program. Truth be told, I rarely read a self help book from cover to cover. I adopted the theory but it just took too much effort to immerse myself in the process. It took a while but I finally realized that it’s not the self help program in it’s entirety that makes it a success, it’s what you take away to improve life both now and for the future. Like most courses in life, it’s the take-away that matters most. And, for most time pressed and overburdened overachievers, the take-away is just about all anyone has time to digest and act upon.

The beauty of RSG is that it took years to discover but only one minute to apply. The quick step platform is the ultimate take-away; the Cliff’s Notes to self improvement and personal fulfillment. RSG is an emergent mix of human nature, behavioral patterns, energy output, brain science, physical health, spirituality, meditation and the realities of everyday life. The stand out is that it removes the rhetorical psycho-babble and infuses common sense that can be utilized in an instant or better yet, in a constant. And the “in an instant” part is so important because the reality is that everyone needs to reboot and redirect from time to time; not over a long walk or a week’s vacation, but in the moment when it’s needed most. RELAX. SET. GO. is there in the pinch and better yet, it doesn’t just change your moment, it changes your potential.

A separate note on what's to come . . . I think the best move forward is to give some definition to what you can expect from RSG on a weekly basis.  My mission is to post when it makes sense, not to make senseless postings just to fill space.  With this, you can expect a RSG platform post at the beginning of the week as well as additional sidebar information (polls, quotes, links) and an occasional editorial post from me during the week.  I am also working on getting the blog onto a larger website so that it doesn't require so much scrolling!

Thanks for staying with me through this long post . . . I really appreciate the time you put into the site and the encouragement I am getting along the way.  Have a great weekend and a Very Happy Valentine's Day.

Sleepwalk Domination

 

By putting the quick step RELAX.  SET.  GO. principles into action, it’s easy to see how a minute is all you need to reboot, redirect and revitalize your spirit.  Heightened awareness feels great and best of all, it gives you a piece of your life back.  It’s like being woken up from a restless trance that keeps you on the treadmill but keeps you from the treasure of what matters most. I’m not saying that the world exists as a walking, talking zombie nation.  It’s more accurate to say that we are living among a sleepwalk domination.  Remember, “. . . time to make the donuts?” Most maxed-out people aren’t even aware of their own surroundings and how they conduct their lives.  They have switched on the auto pilot and live in an endless loop of redundancy; same stuff, different day. They sleepwalk through life in a haze of craze, distracted and self absorbed in the rollercoaster of their own preoccupation. Sleepwalkers are usually oversensitive to pressure and desensitized to pleasure.  They don’t see what they miss as life zooms by and they may never realize that their days are full but their years are empty.  

Sleepwalkers are more likely to feel depressed and to subconsciously perpetuate their own negativity.  They play the blame game of “I don’t have a choice” and millions turn to anti-depressants in an effort to become numb to stress and hip to happiness. Anti-depressants cut the edge which is extremely helpful in managing stress but too often they dull the senses as well. What does happiness feel like when everything is neutralized?   Tranquility shouldn’t have to come at the cost of actually feeling things.  We need to become sensitive to being so desensitized.  The world doesn’t exist in grayscale.  It is full of vibrant colors and rich detail but sleepwalkers are so accustomed to tunnel vision that they tend to be tuned out and the color in their world tends to be washed out.  RELAX.  SET.  GO.  wakes you up, keeps you up, and opens up opportunity at every path.