Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Superpower Pause


Power Pause #2:  The Superpower Pause
Outcome: You’ll feel like Superman

The Superpower Pause (TSP) can change everything. It is a fear buster and an esteem builder that will take you from an “I can’t” to an “I will” attitude in an instant . . . and it will make you feel like you can do anything. There is enormous benefit to that. To start, you will see a huge difference in how you approach the world and you will feel totally empowered to go, go, go!

TSP relies heavily on all of the RELAX. SET. GO. rules to relish (12/22 post) because you want to be in a heightened state during and after the pause. It will fuel a magnetic verve and confidence so powerful that you will be excited in the face of challenge and impenetrable to the threat of fear. This is not about reckless entitlement or manic delusion; it’s about believing in yourself and breaking down any and all self imposed barriers. Once you decide to bust through the walls, nothing will hold you back.

Triumph is in the power of your narrative, your energy, and the passionate belief that anything is possible and everything is in your reach. There can be no doubt. Doubt is simply a rationalization for negativity and fear. Destroy it and be steadfast in your mission. When you need to put on the superpower suit, put it on and leave the alter ego behind!

I started using TSP before everyday things like business meetings, sales presentations, dealing with difficult clients, or whenever I wanted a particular situation to go a certain way. I had such great results that even when things didn’t go exactly as I planned, I didn’t feel the dissatisfaction I had in the past. I was able to shrug it off and to move on, confident in my position and of my future success. With TSP, failure is not an option and negativity never wins.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Introducing The 10 Power Pauses


The 10 Power Pauses provide texture to the fabric of RELAX. SET. GO. They will get you through anything and everything. They give definition to the different reasons to pause and they help to set the narrative for where you want to go. They are meant to direct, never to dictate. As they post over the next week or so, you may gravitate to one or all, or you may create your very own power pauses. As you get more comfortable and see what works best, your personal style of RELAX. SET. GO. will emerge. And that’s the point. The more it becomes your own, the better it will work for you. The better it works, the more you will prosper in every positive way possible.

Power Pause #1: The Stop the Madness Pause
Outcome: You’re sanity will be resurrected and restored

This pause is probably the most commonly needed and will likely be the most widely used of all the pauses. It is the fastest remedy for overload and crisis mode. It restores composure, instills harmony and puts things into proper perspective which is why it can also be described as the meditative pause. It has so many benefits and can center you even in the most critically off balance situation. If you have them, a few extra relax and pause minutes will quadruple in value and may be needed to return to what you are doing with a clear and peaceful mindset. While you are pausing, remember that no matter how stressful the situation, no matter how tight the deadline, no matter how heavy the pressure, no matter how full the plate, you have the power to control the chaos and to never allow it control you. Even if it means letting go of some things, let them go. If it means compromising on others, then compromise. You can’t control everything but you can control how you see things and how you react to them. See them and react to them with positive energy and a great attitude and you will be amazed by how much you can actually manage on that very full and seemingly unmanageable plate.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Two Wolves


A friend of mine sent out this proverb for the New Year.  I thought the message so true and relevant that I wanted to share it with you.  Enjoy.

TWO WOLVES
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

"One is Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

"The other is Good - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"  The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Ten RELAX. SET. GO. Rules To Relish


We all share common threads but our lives are so individual. The ten RELAX.  SET.  GO. rules to relish provide the roadmap; you design the destination that defines your personal success.  They are rules to relish, not to restrict.  So have fun and give yourself a well deserved break this holiday season.

1. Embrace the cause for pause.
TIP: The reason to relax and pause may be obvious but by telling yourself why you need it, you not only give yourself permission to take a break, you set the stage for success.

2. Let the force be with you.
TIP: Identifying your personal energy and whether it needs to be redirected to the positive will validate where you need to go and empower you to get there.

3. Stop what you are doing. Really stop.
TIP: Find a focal point or close your eyes to keep yourself free from distraction. This will help to relax your mind and ease the tension. It only takes a minute to relax and pause, so please take the time. If you can’t physically stop, you can still actively pause. External motion doesn’t have to hinder internal process.

4. Breathe slowly and deeply.
TIP: Focused breathing will get you centered and help you stay that way. Imagine that you are cleansing your body by breathing in pure oxygen and breathing out the toxins. Your heart rate will seem to slow down and you will experience a significant sense of balance and renewal.

5. Turn off the noise in your mind.
TIP: Slow your thoughts so that you decide which come in, which stay, and which go out. The light switch visual always helps to turn off the negative chatter and to turn on the positive narrative.

6. Pump up your personal energy.
TIP: Negative energy has no place in your world. Push it out and snap into a positive state. Then pump some power into the positive. Heightened energy doesn’t mean hyper energy. It is focused, clear and strong, just like you.

7. Talk to yourself.
TIP: Write your narrative. This is the time for strong affirmations and enthusiastic pep talks that have a well defined outcome. Be the king of the world, control the chaos, laugh at adversity, find peace and tranquility, embrace everything good. Always create an unwavering and optimistic success story in which your energy and actions are met with positive results.

8. Get into the groove.
TIP: You will feel the shift in your energy and attitude. You will realize how truly great you can feel in the matter of a minute. Relish it. Surround yourself in it and share it with the universe.

9. Mark it and keep it in motion.
TIP: Make your transformation stick with a symbolic marker. Stretch, stretch loudly, spin in your chair, clench a fist, color your energy, punch the sky or simply smile to yourself. You will stay the course long after you break the pause.

10.  Appreciate empowerment
TIP: You are entitled to an excellent life, not to a life of entitlement. Always give thanks and always be grateful for your ability to seize the best in life.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Little Things Mean A Lot And They Can Do Even More



In addition to anything Super Hero or Star Wars related, my 5 year old son loves to sing, dance and skip. We skip a lot, especially when I need him to move quickly! But mostly, we skip because it makes us feel good. Each morning, on our way to school, we pass a well-dressed business woman, briefcase in hand, on her way to work. At first, we simply noticed each other with a friendly nod but then one day something really great happened. As she was walking up the street she must have noticed my son skipping. When she got to us, she started skipping and her whole face was lit up by her smile. She was having fun and I felt lucky to be a part of it. In a place like New York City where everything seems so serious and cynical all the time, it was amazing to see my son’s energy become a boomerang for fun and laughter in such an unexpected and unconventional way. Now, we always give a big hello to “our lady” and her smile is a constant reminder that magic can be found in a moment and a moment can truly make your day.

SNAPSHOTS
Snapshots are mental pictures of experiences that make you feel good. They become the happy memories that leave an imprint and can instantly make you feel lucky in life. If you can take and file even one snapshot a day, then you are truly gifted with a beautiful life. When you provide the snapshot for someone else, you become part of something even bigger. What snapshot will you take today? What snapshot will you give to someone else?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Slow Down . . . You Move Too Fast


Slow down, you move too fast . . . you got to make the morning last . . . just kickin’ down the cobble stones . . . lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy . . . Simon and Garfunkle

How often do you feel groovy just walking down the street or getting to where you need to go? If you’re anything like me, you rarely even think of how you feel because you’re too busy thinking about what you have to do. I barely saw the world around me because I was moving so fast that my mind was always on the destination instead of the drive. I never put my foot on the break.

Full speed ahead may be an engine of productivity but taking even a minute to relax and enjoy the world around you is the fuel that feeds the soul. You don’t have to be on a snow capped mountain to stop and appreciate the beauty of life. There are “wow” moments and hidden treasures everywhere. You just have to slow down long enough to see them.

It happened for me when I started playing walking games with my son; kind of like the car games we would play as kids to make the time go by (now kids just watch videos in the car!). Little kids walk painfully slow which forces you to slow down, too. I thought the games would make the walk seem faster for me and be educational for my son but the opposite turned out to be true. I was the one getting the education and my son was the one passing the time.

It started by picking a different color for each day. During our walks, we had to call out everything we saw in that color. Kids have a fine radar for noticing things that adults take for granted and generally overlook entirely. Kids see things that we are closed off to and they are curious about everything. With the help of my son, I began to see things that I never noticed before and in the magic of the moment, my world went from flat to 3 dimensional, from grayscale to high definition color.

When my son picked purple, I didn’t think we would find much if anything, but we found a ton of stuff . . . A purple bike, a purple flower, the color purple in a flag, a purple flyer on a sign post . . . I saw incredible detail and I saw the picturesque landscape of the neighborhood I lived in for 10 years but never fully appreciated or realized. We had so much fun playing the color game that we switched it up and added different games to play along the way. Each day presented a new discovery and what were once tedious walks became whimsical adventures.  What hidden treasures will you discover today?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Turning On Your Positive Energy


If you think you can’t change your energy in an instant, think again. Athletes, actors and business executives do it all the time. Even you have probably changed your energy many times without giving it a name or recognizing how it was done. The method may vary but the idea of snapping out of one energy and snapping into another has been around a very long time.

Athletes use positive mental attitude (PMA) before a practice or competition. They channel, as individuals and as a team, a winning attitude where failure isn’t an option. They set their energy and reinforce it by directing their narrative to a very specific outcome: to win. Then they usually mark it with a physical action and a loud, affirmative call out like “Let’s go.” That marker solidifies the energy/narrative and puts it into unwavering action.

Actors are trained to utilize energy at will. They regularly get into character by channeling the emotional energy of a past experience that they can then put into motion. And, it has long been a technique of fashion photographers to verbally encourage models to think, feel and project a certain mood in order to get the desired result. Business executives pump themselves up with confidence in order to overcome fear and to focus on success. And, life in general has pushed each and every one of us to embrace strength in order to overcome obstacles, be they large or small. If you have ever said “I can do this,” you have set your narrative to the positive. If you said it with conviction, you strengthened your personal energy and potential outcome.

Whether practiced as such or not, snapping into positive energy always has the common thread of RELAX. SET. GO. The best results always start when you RELAX and rid yourself of negative distraction. When you are calm and clear, there are no barriers to how you SET your positive energy and narrative. And once set, you are always ready to GO for whatever outcome you desire.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Out With The Old. In With The New.

Positive energy is the cornerstone to everything. When you master it, you master your life force. Energy = attitude = actions. Energy = mindSET. Mindset is conditioned by the habitual, often subconscious narratives we tell ourselves . . . about ourselves, about our circumstance and about the people around us. Unfortunately and most accidentally, much of our conditioning is steeped in negative reinforcement instead of positive affirmation.

RELAX. SET. GO. shifts mindset from the subconscious to the conscious, breaks the negative patterns of narrative conditioning and builds the positive ones. What is your mindset? Do you “believe it when you see it,” or do you “see it when you believe it?” Conscious mindset allows you to choose your energy, write your narrative and go for everything you set your mind to.

The past is the past so it is only present if you take it with you. In the past, if waking up to a rainy day made you tired, leave it behind and SET anew. In the past, if you thought you couldn't change the way you felt, or felt you couldn’t succeed at something, leave it behind and SET anew. It’s really up to you. What you take with you, or start anew, is best to begin with a deep, purposeful pause.

RELAX and stop what you are doing. Really stop. Breathe slowly and deeply until you feel a sense of calm and balance. If it helps, visualize a light switch and turn off any remaining noise in your mind. No distractions or spinning allowed.

SET your personal energy. To do this, literally choose to project positive energy. If it helps, visualize positive energy filling your body with each deep breath and negative energy leaving your body with each exhale. Do this until all of the negative is out and gone. Use your breathing to pump up the positive energy until you feel it in a heightened state. At this point, you may be able to visualize your energy as a color or symbol (like a ping or swirl of light). When you do, mark it and make an indelible imprint in your mind. If you can’t mark it with a visual, then mark it with a physical symbol. Fold your hands together, open your palms to the sky, or gently squeeze your fingers. This mark will become your trigger for instantaneous energy engagement. Whenever I need to pump up my positive energy, I simply look for something orange. It triggers a powerful quick step to success and it works every time.

SET your personal narrative. Make it positive, fill it with inspiration and say it with conviction. It can be as simple as “today is going to be an excellent day,” or “I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.“ It can be as specific as “I am going to break a new piece of business today.” A healthy dose of positive affirmation sets you on course to GO for anything and everything you desire. It also strengthens your personal energy output. Remember, energy is a boomerang. The people around you may not know the narrative you tell yourself but they will begin to react to it based on the very positive energy you project. And that alone can begin the transformation to a truly remarkable life.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Identifying Your Personal Energy

The energy you project, whether consciously or subconsciously, defines the way people see you and the way you see the world around you. Energy is a boomerang. It’s your karma and it does come around. You think what you believe. You are what you think. You project what you are. You attract what you project. The goal is to project positive energy, even in negative situations.

Without self direction, personal energy and therefore you, are subject to the whim of circumstance. What is your personal energy? How is it influenced by the situation or by the way you may physically feel at the time? Are you operating in the negative or in the positive? By answering the following questions, you will begin to raise your energy consciousness and in a few quick steps you will be able to see, feel and SET your energy like never before.

1. How do you feel when you are in a great mood?
2. How do you feel when you are stressed out?
3. How do you react to stressful situations when you are in a great mood?
4. How do you react to stressful situations when you are overwhelmed?
5. How do your feelings and reactions change when you are tired?

NEGATIVE ENERGY: pessimistic, lethargic, unhappy, agitated, insecure, fearful, resentful, narrow minded, frustrated, anxious . . .


POSITIVE ENERGY: optimistic, energetic, happy, composed, confident, courageous, appreciative, open minded, content, relaxed . . .

How would your life be different, if even when you are at the height of stress, all of your radiating energy was positively radiant? If you were an observer instead of participant in every conversation you have or in everything you do, how would you view your behavior or the way you speak? If energy = attitude = actions, what kind of energy would you create? One of the challenges we face today is that high stress at a fast pace causes us to live reactively. Negative energy is reactive. Positive energy is proactive. RELAX. SET. GO. gives you the break you need to stop before you think, to think before you act and to always act with positive energy and a winning attitude. Get ready to SET . . .

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Stress Block Syndrome

I used to say “it’s not what I get done that stresses me out, it’s what I don’t get done.” I was so fixated on the things that I didn’t do, that I rarely gave myself credit for all of the things that I did accomplish.

No matter how large, small, important or irrelevant, I would stress over the things I expected to do but didn’t get to. My to do list was an ongoing pile up of deadlines and intentions that weighed me down, closed me in and threatened my good nature. My to do list turned into a stress list and the greater the stress, the more emotionally blocked and subconsciously negative I became. I was suffering from Stress Block Syndrome. It happens when the negative influences of stress work to block emotional clarity and energy consciousness.

Picture a gateway that affects the decisions you make and the manner in which you live your life. Negative energy blocks the gateway and positive energy keeps it open. No matter how self aware people think they are, most live in a low state of energy consciousness. RELAX. SET. GO. reclaims the all but lost ability to relax and pause. But, it's success lies in the ability to recognize and SET the energy and attitudes that guide your life. It's about setting life to the positive and living life to the fullest, or more importantly, to fulfillment. That alone gives pause. You will relish the moment and have the confidence and passion to GO for anything and everything you desire.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Common Sense Law of Perspective

The world expects a lot of us. And, we expect even more of ourselves. I'm not about to suggest that we can change what is expected of us, at least not overnight. I will suggest, however, that to a large extent, we are responsible for our own overload. Many of us don’t even see it because we have become complacent and frankly, our expectation is to be overwhelmed. But what if you could control the expectation? What kind of difference would that make in your life?

Overload is directly related to the relevance, or the perspective that we assign to each and every thing we do. If everything is perceived as important (value) and urgent (time based) then everything will be important and urgent. Rest assured, it will also be a direct line to exhaustion and burnout. At the same time, if everything is perceived as urgent, regardless of importance, then urgency will run your life and it will still lead to exhaustion and burnout.

I used to say that I missed being able to focus on what was important rather than what was urgent (everything). I was being pushed to the limit, not only by my own sense of urgency but by the urgent requests of others -- both personally and professionally. Were they really urgent requests? Or was the urgency driven by someone else's agenda that I allowed to become my own? It took RELAX. SET. GO. to realize that urgency is often manufactured and that someone else's agenda didn't automatically have to become my own. I also realized that urgency is compounded by stress. Less stress; less urgency; more importance. And of course, stress is compounded by time based expectations.

I finally realized The Common Sense Law of Perspective. It's the true "secret," and a key tenet to RELAX. SET. GO. The Common Sense Law is this simple fact: Perspective drives the reality we create. But what drives perspective? More importantly, what do we let drive perspective? How much thought do we actually put into perspective? If we don't think about it, question it and shape it, then chances are that we are not in control of it . . . and therefore not in control of our reality.

RELAX. SET. GO. will teach you to be both the observer and driver of your perspective and therefore, of the reality you create. A positive perspective will always trump negative and the ability to create what I call "pocket perspective" will always trump chaos. Pocket perspective is simply being able to relax and pause in order to apply positive perspective to a specific matter at hand. Think of it as the "one thing at a time" method of perspective.

The beauty of perspective is that we really can change it in an instant. It may take a little practice but it's easy with RELAX. SET. GO. Perspective alone, allows you to adjust, not what the world expects of you, but what you expect. This doesn't mean trading high standards in exchange for mediocrity. To the contrary, excellence is exactly what we are striving for here; an excellent life, to be exact.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Big Blur Phenomenom

In business the expectation is to be on call 24/7, or as one of my top executive friends says, 25/8, always with blackberry/iphone in hand. Saturday and Sunday shouldn't even be called the weekend because for so many of us, the week never ends. We take our work home. We take it everywhere we go. Meetings are booked back to back with no time to spare, face to face interaction has been replaced by email and everything is expected to be completed in a nanosecond. Corporate cutbacks and this lousy economy mean fewer people are doing more work. At the same time, the demand for quantifiable return on investment has been pushed to the limit and monitored like never before. All this is happening while the cost of doing business is increasing and the margins of success are decreasing.

Personal life is not much different. The phone is always on, the calendar is always full, everything is expected to be completed in a nanosecond, the cost of living is increasing and the margin of successfully getting everything done is decreasing.

Whether at work or in personal life, we tend to move from one obligation to the next, often moving so fast that things get left incomplete because of scheduling, deadlines and unexpected interruptions. I call it the big blur phenomenon because we are moving so fast that there is little distinction between the things that define our lives. As a result, we often miss what’s most important. Days merge into weeks, weeks merge into months and time flies faster and faster. It’s no wonder that we are stressed out and in need of a break!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Let's Talk About Out of Whack Time Based Expectations

24/7 expectation has created an individual, personal, en masse, chaotic world. It didn’t happen overnight but somewhere over the years we stopped, stopping. It used to be customary to stop, or to relax and pause. In many ways, pauses were automatically built into our day because the world moved much slower and we didn’t put so much pressure on time pressed productivity. The check really was in the mail and it took at least 4 days to get anywhere. There was an expectation of waiting. There was the understanding that everything took time. We weren’t so impatient and that alone gave us time to pause. Today, technology, excess choice and unrealistic expectations keep us in overdrive. And, the faster we move, the more distorted our perception of time becomes. We used to “stop to smell the flowers.” Now we "stop to smell the coffee", only while we drink it so we can get back to work or whatever we are doing to get more done.

In an absurd contradiction, technology has made our lives more complicated by making everything so convenient, accessible and fast. Email, instant messaging and social networking are the definition of a modern paradox. While fast and accessible, they are also some of the biggest time bandits we face today. There is little that sucks up time faster than constantly trying to empty the inbox. At the same time, social networking has turned six degrees of separation into one degree and has made everyone the star, writer, producer and director of their own reality show. It's also spawned a whole new way of doing business. It can be exhilarating and exhausting. One thing is for sure, it takes time and for so many, it takes priority.

Because the Internet is here all the time, it feels that the same is expected of us. This creates the pressure to respond and the stress to produce, in an instant. There is a cultural distortion that implies “if you don’t respond quickly, you don’t care . . . if you don't produce immediately, you're not on top of things.” I remember when it was expected that smart business proposals took time to construct, write and present (in the long lost method of "in person"). Now, we are sent a request for proposal, expected to see it the minute it hits the inbox and further, expected to drop everything else (also urgent, of course) to ensure it's immediate response (via email). Gone are realistic time based expectations and face to face communication. The new deadline is "due yesterday" and not only do we speak with our fingertips, but like everything else, they are always in motion.

There is so much more to say on this topic but I'll save it for later because I know that everything takes time; even reading the blog. This post just skims the surface of why we need to see a sea change. More later on how RELAX. SET. GO. will start the motion. Right now, just take a deep breath, relax and pause. Feels good even when things don't.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

RELAX . . . Everyone has time to pause.

If you don’t believe me, take this simple test. Try to clear your mind and do only one thing: watch the clock for one minute. Did you make it? You may be surprised by how many people crave more time but struggle to stop everything. It’s hard to do and almost no one turns off completely. Many people become impatient as the seconds tick by, ironically, frustrated that time is not moving fast enough. Others go into what I call the “default mode” by keeping their mind in overdrive, thinking, thinking, thinking, so not to spare or waste a second in time.

It’s remarkable how long one minute can be when you are actually watching the clock and not racing against it. A minute is more time than you think. It is also enough time to make a difference in your day to day and ultimately, in your life. The beauty of taking time to relax and pause is that it doesn’t require time at the sacrifice of something else. Everyone can capture a minute or even more. And, oddly enough, by taking the time to pause, you can slow your emotional clock because pause brings perspective and perspective generally buys time.
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." - Albert Einstein
Time doesn’t discriminate but it is what you make it. The minute you start racing, the clock does too, or at least, your perception of it does. When you breathe and take things slowly, time is more likely to be on your side. It becomes the asset instead of the liability, and the asset can bring on remarkable change. That change will be inspired by how you SET your energy and narrative. When you tap into the simple secrets of RELAX. SET. GO. you will quickly find your personal best and attract the same in others. Oh yeah, and you’ll be ready to dream bigger and to achieve more than ever before.

Monday, November 23, 2009

If Silence is Golden, then Pause is Platinum

Time doesn't fly these days, it evaporates. Everyone craves it. No one has enough of it. It's the chorus emerging from today's 24/7 culture and it's at the forefront of why everyone is stressed out, overburdened and living life in overdrive.

I used to say, “My cup runneth over with stress. I can't take on one more thing, no matter how small.” I had a happy marriage with a beautiful kid, a high charged career, great friends and an active social life. I had everything but I had no peace in my life. I was always distracted and in many ways, I was falling apart from the stress of giving every minute of the day to someone or something else. I didn't know which moved faster -- my mind reciting an endless To Do list or me racing from one thing to another; constantly racing against the clock.

The pressure was always on but I realized it didn't have to be that way. That realization changed my life and it literally happened in a minute. It happened when I decided to reclaim my all but lost ability to pause. Consider this: everyone has time to pause. Even people who say they don't have time to breathe, do breathe and can pause. It's what you do with it that makes the difference.

RELAX. SET. GO. is a quick step program that turns a pause into perspective and a minute into magic that can last a lifetime. It will make you feel like Superman. It will make you feel greater peace and balance. It will make you happier and more successful. It will make you appreciate the little things and give you the confidence to go after the big things. It will make a difference. It made such a big difference for me and my family that I want to share it with everyone. It's easy and it works. So, are you ready to change your life? Get ready to RELAX. SET. GO.